


Royalty

by reviloo



Category: Twosetviolin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Romance, Derogatory Language, M/M, Original Characters - Freeform, i feel like if i were to add any more tags, i would spoil everything lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 16:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21461116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reviloo/pseuds/reviloo
Summary: "The ocean breeze scuttled by, sending chills down his spine. But when the chill lingered despite the breeze being long gone, Eddy knew that he was feeling something stronger than joy. Stronger than sadness. Stronger than anything he knew."When a new servant is assigned to Prince Edward of Mirean, he begins to grow closer to him. It isn't until a fateful conversation far from home that he finally recognizes what he's feeling and has to cope with the implications of his newfound emotions.
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 10
Kudos: 37





	1. Leningrad

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted from wattpad: viii. leningrad in collection: twosetviolin! there are a lot more minor edits with this one, so it's pretty similar to the original draft c:
> 
> this is a two-parter: leningrad and stalingrad! stalingrad will be posted shortly (maybe in like 2 days).
> 
> thank you for reading, and i hope you all enjoy <3
> 
> [ warnings: mention of death ]

Eddy nodded at the cup of coffee that was set beside him.

In front of him were sets and sets of reports, all from different regions of Mirean, collected by the governors of each for him and the rest of the royal family to read. They covered every aspect of the kingdom, and Eddy had until tomorrow to read all of the information, summarize it, and be able to present it to the rest of the royal court. His head hurt at the thought of the court, watching the young prince stand in the middle of the room while critiquing everything he was doing.

He sighed, picking up the porcelain cup. He wasn't even sure if he would get any sleep tonight. Only three of the eighteen reports were read so far, and he still had to plan possible improvements for the kingdom. The smell of coffee wafted into his nose, and Eddy closed his eyes as he took a big sip.

It was oddly sweeter than expected. 

He frowned, setting down the cup and staring at the servant that stood in the corner. It was easy to tell that he was the new one, with how his shoulders were slouched even in Eddy's presence and how he stared at the papers, his eyes wide and amazed. His glasses reflected the flame of the candle that flickered on Eddy's table. Eddy cleared his throat and waved him over.

"Yes?"

"How much sugar did you add to this?"

"Three. Just as you asked."

Eddy shook his head. "I asked for two."

"Oh."

He narrowed his eyes. Typically, his previous servants would at least apologize, if not offer to make a new cup of coffee for him. He relaxed in his seat and smiled back at the servant, taking note of his determined stare and indifference to this situation. Maybe he should give the new kid a grace period before being harsh. "I believe you're the new servant here?"

"I am."

"That makes sense. In that case, I wouldn't worry too much about anything yet. You will eventually get used to how the castle works."

"I see. I'll figure it out soon, then." He stood there awkwardly, fidgeting with the buttons on his sleeves. He stared down at Eddy, looking him directly in the eyes.

Eddy shrugged, taking another sip of the sugary coffee. "Good. What is your name?"

"Brett. My name is Brett."

* * *

He kept on missing the shift.

Eddy sighed, looking at the parchment on the table. He set his instrument on his lap, trying to figure out the best way to reach the Bb while making the shift smooth. The Sibelius Violin Concerto was a project of his that both his parents and the court approved of, and he gritted his teeth in determination. He would have this piece prepared before the neighboring kingdom of Rocheti visited.

He could try pulling his arm over when shifting, making it easier for him to reach the note. He nodded. If he relaxed his thumb, then he would be able to shift easier. He placed his violin on his shoulder and took a breath, before freezing.

Someone was there.

Eddy glanced over. It was the new servant, Brett, holding a cup of coffee. His mouth was slightly open as he stared at the violin in Eddy's hands; he seemed frozen in his place until Eddy's eyes met his. 

Brett cleared his throat, quickly setting down the cup of coffee. "Sorry. I didn't mean to intrude on your practicing session."

"You aren't intruding." Eddy relaxed his shoulders. "I was startled for a moment, that's all. I didn't see you standing there."

Eddy returned his focus to the music. He took a deep breath, trying to remember what he should do, before attempting the shift. He furrowed his brows at how he had not undershot like last time, instead overshooting and having the note grow sharp. His eyes closed, he began to adjust the note until it was perfect.

Another deep breath. Round two.

A smile broke out on his face when he hit the note perfectly. He was playing a lot slower than performance tempo, but it made his life easier, especially in the runs for the next few measures. Eddy began to play the semiquavers that followed. His fingers ran along the fingerboard, hitting the notes accurately. 

His mind raced, trying to plan: he wanted to just get a little softer during this passage. Maybe he should emphasize those notes. Maybe he should get louder during that passage, before he hit the high note, and then lower the volume immensely once he did. There were so many possibilities that he almost didn't know what to do.

Eddy finished the phrase with a flare, and let the notes ring through the room. His eyes were still closed as the sound finally died out, leaving behind a calm silence.

A sound.

He turned once again, staring directly into the wide eyes of Brett.

"You're still here," he mused.

Brett blinked a few times. His cheeks turned pink. "Ah... sorry. I didn't mean to listen in-"

Eddy waved his hand. "Why are you worried? You can stay if you wish."

"Sorry?"

The commoner accent still laced every one of his words; it was different to listen to, compared to all of the royal and noble accents he had heard in the court. Eddy pointed at the seat near the fireplace. "You should take a seat if you want to listen. I personally do not mind."

Brett's jaw dropped. "But-"

"It is your choice. I am only inviting you."

"Thank you," he mumbled. Hesitating, he walked over to the chair and took a seat, his eyes scanning the inked notes that rested on the table. Eddy nodded and prepared to retry the section he had just practiced, before noticing Brett's fingers tapping on his knee. Eddy frowned slightly, before brushing it off.

This wasn't important. Perhaps Brett was just nervous in his presence. Eddy took a deep breath and started to play again.

* * *

Eddy was always amazed when commoners turned out to be smarter than he expected, and Brett was no exception.

Despite being new to the job, he took command of the others like it was no big deal. He figured out his own shortcuts to the work, completing it faster than Eddy expected. Eddy's smile was stuck on his face as he stared at how everyone was working in perfect unison. His eye always lingered a little longer on the same servant that messed up his coffee on his very first day and how he seemed to pour his heart into everything he did.

He pretended to not notice how unaccustomed Brett seemed to be for manual labor - he always seemed to be rubbing his hands after doing some work, unable to withstand the dryness of his skin. Eddy sighed, his smile growing wider. Brett seemed to have the hands and mind of a noble, despite having the attitude and mannerisms of a commoner.

That was new. It was something he had never seen before, and Eddy couldn't help but admit that he was fascinated by Brett. 

* * *

"Good, you're here."

Brett shrugged. "I'm always here."

Brett had been visiting for the past two weeks or so, listening in on Eddy's playing. Eddy had only been working on small portions at a time or on technique, but the banquet was in a few days, and he wouldn't have time to practice once the Rochetis visited soon.

"I was planning on playing the entire concerto tonight. I was wondering if you wanted to comment on the piece afterwards." He pulled his violin out of the case and put the shoulder rest on.

Brett set the cup of coffee down (two spoons of sugar, just like Eddy requested) and retreated to his newly designated chair. "Alright."

"Good." Eddy lifted his violin. The music that was scattered all over his table just a few nights ago was gone, instead stacked in a small pile by the chair. "Don't be afraid to criticize me, please, especially if something sounds weird. You can take a look at the music if you wish."

Eddy's inner thoughts chimed in. _ If you can read it in the first place. _

Brett picked up the music and scanned it for a second, his eyes wide and glowing. He picked them up as if they were a delicate treasure, being careful to not wrinkle any of the papers. "Really? You don't mind?"

"I do not."

"O-Oh. Thank you." Brett continued to thumb through the score, a wide grin growing on his face. "Can I get a moment to look through the music?"

Eddy nodded. "Of course. Tell me when you are ready."

He began to warm up by running through scales and arpeggios. They were muscle memory for him; he didn't need to think while doing them unless he wanted to focus on something. His eyes zoned out while staring at Brett and his childlike fascination with the music.

Brett's hair was in a complete mess, probably from everything that Eddy had told him to do this morning in preparation for the banquet. Droplets of sweat still clung to the very tips of his hair. His eyes were eating away at the music, somehow both fascinated and focused at the same time. Eddy blinked a few times. He couldn't focus on Brett now, before he was ready to play.

He took a deep breath, listening to his own intonation and shifts. What was Brett thinking every time he messed up? Was he judging his playing this entire time?

Eddy tried to push that all out of his mind. Now was not the time to worry; he would have bigger worries to push out when the banquet rolled around. Instead, he decided to focus on the determination that settled in the bottom of his stomach and took a deep breath. He reminded himself that Brett was nothing more than a servant, and that the royals and nobles were more terrifying.

Brett set down the music. "Whenever you're ready."

"Of course."

Eddy closed his eyes and listened to the imaginary orchestra behind him, playing the eighth notes in a steady rhythm. He took a breath, lifting his bow, and started playing through Sileblius' melody. His brain whirred with all of the phrasing, the dynamics, and the bowings that he had come up with by himself. He hoped that this would at least blow someone away, whether it be a noble or Brett himself.

His entire body moved with the flow of the music. He tried to shut his critical mind off as he continued playing, ignoring his inner voice insulting him for those slightly out of tune notes. He continued to push through, letting his passion and determination take over. The music grew more and more intense and difficult, but Eddy had completely forgotten about the outside world.

He was a prince.

This music was his to own and conquer.

Eddy finished the first movement with a strong, powerful note. His eyes still closed, he let his bow linger in the air with the sound until everything had completely fallen into silence.

That is, except for the quiet sniffles in the background.

He opened his eyes, staring at the servant. Brett was doing anything to avoid his gaze, instead staring down at the music. He wiped his eyes hastily once his teardrops began to fall on the inked parchment. Eddy watched as Brett held his breath to silence the sniffles and wiped his tears with his white sleeves.

Eddy set his violin down. His eyes narrowed with concern. "Brett?"

"Your playing is good," he mumbled.

He frowned, pulling another chair over next to Brett. "Thank you. But are you alright?"

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

Eddy looked down at the bleeding ink. Droplets of water soaked the layers of parchment, but Eddy was surprised to find that he wasn't annoyed about this. He instead watched Brett as he continued sniffling quietly, his hands covering his face. Eddy held his breath. What did he do wrong?

He cleared his throat. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine. I-I'll just go now." His voice cracked. He sounded vulnerable, his voice raw as he spat out the words. "Thank you for your music. It was nice listening to it."

Eddy didn't bother to say anything as a reply. His curiosity was eating away at him, but he decided that pushing Brett was too much for the night. He nodded, pretending to slide back into nonchalance. "That's alright. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Please, have a good rest of your evening."

Brett nodded. He set down the score on the wet table and rushed off. Eddy flinched at the sound of his own doors slamming and was left wondering what he had done to upset Brett this much.

A part of him wondered why he even cared so much in the first place.

* * *

Eddy sat on his bed, thinking about the entire situation with Brett. Why would Brett be so emotional over Sibelius? He personally didn't believe he had played too well this time around, and instead thought that there was a lot he could have done better. It simply wasn't possible for the music itself to evoke such a strong emotional reaction in someone.

He ran his hands through his hair. What was special about Brett? His mind started running through everything he knew so far until something finally clicked.

Hands of a noble, attitude of a commoner. Wide eyes as he stared at the score. Hands tapping the knees. Eddy raised an eyebrow. No wonder Brett had stared at his instrument the first time he saw it, as if it was a holy treasure. He wasn't just another normal commoner; he had to have been of a higher class.

He had to have come from a family of musicians.

But musicians rarely came to be a servant of the royal family. Eddy frowned, falling back against the pillow. To be a good, well-respected musician meant that they would be paid more than being a servant. Why would Brett be here if he was a musician?

Furthermore, he didn't realize how nervous he should have been during the performance. Brett's ears were most likely sharper than the normal commoner's. What was he hearing? Did he hear every little note that was out of tune? Every weird bow change? Was he judging Eddy's own interpretation?

Eddy shook the questions out of his own head. Now was not the time to be selfish, but instead, the time to plan. Perhaps the music reminded Brett of his own family. He was feeling homesick, and couldn't go home because his family lived too far from the capital. Eddy nodded to himself in the darkness - this made sense to him. In fact, to him, it was the most logical answer for Brett’s tears, and Eddy needed to think of a solution quick before Brett’s wallowing hindered his work.

Tomorrow, they would go to Brett's hometown, no matter how far it was. Brett would be happier after being with his family, and Eddy, no matter how much he wanted to deny it, would be able to answer some of the questions swirling in his head. He swallowed the bile crawling up his throat and closed his eyes.

At least, that's what he hoped.

* * *

Eddy swiped open the curtains.

Brett groaned at the loud sound ringing in the room. He rolled over on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. His hand reached for his glasses unsuccessfully until Eddy walked over to hand it to him. "Jordon? Is it already time?" he grumbled.

"It's me." 

Brett's eyes shot open. He sat straight up, throwing on his glasses and staring at Eddy, a bewildered look on his face. "W-What? What are you doing here? Why is it so early?"

Eddy glanced out the window. The sun was barely up and the skies were still more black than pink. "Oh. It is quite early. It is alright; we can begin our journey whenever. Wake up and get dressed. Feel free to wear anything you want."

"Huh?"

"I'll leave the room now. You have twenty minutes to meet me in the courtyard."

Brett blinked, rubbing his eyes. "But where are we going?"

"Home, of course. Your home."

"W-What?"

"Yes, your hometown. Get dressed now." Ignoring Brett's open mouth and blank stare, he walked out of the doors and straight into the courtyard. He couldn't deny the burning guilt he felt in his stomach, nor could he deny the little voice in his head bothering him. After thinking about everything some more last night, the prince knew what he was doing by allowing Brett to visit home: his primary goal wasn't to keep Brett happy, but instead to answer his own questions.

Brett was just a secondary goal. Something that wasn't as important.

He took a shaky breath of the autumn air. Brett was nothing more than a servant. Then, why did he feel guilt? Kings needed to make sacrifices involving their kingdom. They couldn't rule with a gentle, lenient hand. This was a visit that Eddy would use to better his relationship with his servant through answering his curious questions, so his servant could serve the kingdom better.

He nodded to himself. Yes, that was it. That was why the guilt needed to go away. Eddy was doing this for the kingdom, not for himself.

His shaking hands readjusted the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt. He frowned at how difficult it was for him to quell his hands. The guilt and anxiety were shaking his entire body, leaving him unable to do anything properly.

He sighed. If he couldn't convince himself of something so simple, then how could he convince the kingdom that he was a competent ruler? He shoved his hands in his pockets and continued to mumble to himself, that everything he was doing was solely for the kingdom.

All for the kingdom.

* * *

"I didn't know you came from Libertin." Eddy's hands clasped the reins tightly as the duo galloped along the road. "I thought you would have come from elsewhere. Maybe Nier. Your accent is more similar to theirs."

Brett hummed quietly. "I was born in Libertin. But I grew up in Nier."

"Ah. In that case, can you speak Libertina?"

Silence. Brett's horse seemed to pull back, leaving Eddy to move in front. Eddy blinked, slowing his horse down until he was right by Brett again. He shut his mouth, focusing on the trees and small houses ahead of them. Maybe the language was a sensitive topic for Brett.

Eddy knew that they were in Libertin when he saw the boats in the distance.

The smell of the ocean breeze was strong as it wafted through the air. Eddy took a deep breath and smiled, memories of childhood vacations being brought to mind. He had been in Libertin a few times with his parents and sister; during the few times he had been there, he had felt free of the royal burden. He glanced over at Brett, who had paled. His face was nearly white once he saw the blue.

Eddy frowned. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine." Brett shook his head and put a smile on his face. "I'll be alright. Just follow me, then. I'll show you around."

The two of them continued to trot, weaving through the growing crowd of people. They were getting closer to the markets, and Eddy was amazed at how different everything felt when there was no announced royal visit. Him and his horse, despite standing tall, blended into the crowd. He felt invisible as he stood there, following Brett; he was unimportant for once, and he didn't realize how nice it felt until now.

He listened in on bits and pieces of conversations, on villagers bargaining with the merchants, on children playing as they scrambled through the stalls. Sound surrounded his entire being, enveloping him in the chaos of the marketplace. There was something more natural about struggling to get through than to have the entire market make a path for him. It felt more right. More real.

Eventually, the two of them exited the marketplace and found themselves near the docks. Eddy continued to follow Brett's black hair, bobbing up and down above the smaller crowd. He blinked a couple of times, glancing back at the market he had just exited. A part of him wanted to go back.

Brett's voice brought him back to reality. "We're here."

Eddy stopped his horse, pulling back the reins. He glanced around. There were no houses here. Instead, he found himself at an empty part of the dock, staring directly into the ocean. There wasn't a single boat here as well, though, and Eddy furrowed his brows in confusion. Compared to the bustling city behind them, this part of the dock was silent except for the occasional seagull. The sounds of people were replaced by the tranquil sound of the waves.

Brett dismounted off of his horse. Taking note of Eddy's confusion, he smiled a bitter smile. "This is my home. Welcome."

"But," Eddy hopped off his horse, "what do you mean by this? How could this be your home when there is nothing to live in?"

There was no reply. Brett walked over to the ocean, blocking his face. Eddy watched Brett fidget with his hands as he stared out into the distance. He took a few careful steps closer to Brett, not wanting to startle him or to start a round of tears. His mind was racing. What was going on? He wasn't the slow one of his family or of the court, but he found himself unable to piece together anything based on the information he had picked up.

When he found himself standing next to Brett, he saw that Brett's eyes were glassy. He blinked, staring out into the horizon in hopes of finding what Brett was looking at in the first place. The water. The sun, high up in the sky. Perhaps a boat.

Eddy turned his head when he heard a sniffle. He reached into his pocket for a handkerchief and handed it over to Brett without a word.

"Thank you," he mumbled. He took the handkerchief gingerly and took his glasses off for a second to wipe the tears dribbling down his face. He held the handkerchief to his face for a few moments before pulling it away and glancing over at Eddy.

Eddy was staring out into the ocean. He was trying to take it all in, recalling when he tried to jump into the water when his parents were turned around. He remembered his sister yelling at him to get away from the ledge, followed by his father scooping him up in his arms. A grin lingered on his face before he remembered Brett. He turned to face the red-eyed servant, his smile shifting into a thin line. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I'll be fine in a bit."

Eddy sighed. "Truly?"

"Truly."

"You've cried two days in a row," Eddy commented. He ignored the guilt that settled in his stomach. "I only wish to know if this is connected to home in any way, so I can better help you."

Brett sighed. "I-It's not."

Eddy knew this was a lie. Brett's shaking voice when he said it and the hesitation before his reply gave him away. He raised an eyebrow, looking into the other man's brown eyes. At this point, he didn't bother to hide the slight suspicion that was sneaking into his tone. The guilt in his stomach continued to grow stronger, weighing him down further. "Truly?"

Brett looked like he was holding his breath. He frowned, looking away from Eddy and staring back at the calm waves of the ocean. His eyes were clouded with thoughts, and Eddy was unable to read anything that ran through his mind. He was forced to watch as Brett fidgeted with the buttons of his clothing, clearly uncertain about what he should tell Eddy.

Eddy swallowed. The guilt felt as if it was ready to break through, but he had to give it one more try. Just for the sake of his own curiosity and selfishness. "Trust me. We will be in this together for a long time - I will do anything I can to better your life. I'll listen to anything you have to say. I may be serious, but I am nonetheless still a prince and a human being at heart."

His heart beat a little quicker when Brett turned back to face Eddy. He was rubbing the handkerchief in his hands, unable to contain his anxiety. "But you are the prince. You have all the power in the world. If we say something wrong, something against your ideals, then what will happen?"

"Nothing will happen."

"Then…” Brett took a short breath, clearly unsure about his words, “why did my father die?"

Eddy blinked. His heart nearly stopped. "My apologies?"

"The Great Flood of Libertin. I used to live there." Brett pointed at an empty plot of land by the dock, his hand shaking from the uncertainty that ran in his blood. There was a small tree that was beginning to grow in the dirt. "When the floods came, they washed everything I knew and loved away, except for my father and his violin."

Brett wiped the new round of tears with his handkerchief. His voice began to grow strong and steady, fueled by an underlying tone of anger. He took another breath; he didn’t bother to spare a glance at Eddy before continuing. "The kingdom did nothing to help us. We had to rebuild everything on our own, from the ground up. Everything you saw today - the stands, the docks, the market - was made by Libertinians. And only Libertinians."

He paused for a moment, his eyes finally glancing over at Eddy. Eddy was dead silent, staring back at Brett. He took this as a cue to continue.

"My father and a group of other musicians criticized the kingdom. It was wrong of them to not help a small city when they had so many resources that we could have used." Brett glared at the water. "The king - your father - had them imprisoned and executed. What about that is human? To bring up issues about the kingdom and to suggest solutions... is that wrong? Is that an evil thing to do?

"He did nothing wrong. He didn't do anything." Brett sniffed again. He was growing quieter as the effects of the adrenaline began to dull. "It wasn't fair for him to just go like that. He should have-"

Brett fell into silence. Eddy was silent too, staring at his own feet. There wasn't much he could say after this other than apologize. But for what? A new wave of guilt churned in his stomach, for actions that he had never done in his entire life. He swallowed the stomach acid and hesitated before putting a hand on Brett's shoulder.

He was surprised when Brett didn't pull away.

"I apologize. Genuinely." Eddy's voice was low. "My father is human. He makes mistakes and he sees things however he wants; he's a very stubborn person. But I am not justifying what he did to your father with this. I personally believe that it was a flawed action to do."

Brett wiped his eyes.

"I see that this city and the violin is closely connected with your family. I apologize for our incompetence in the past. I apologize especially if we seem incompetent now." Eddy had to think for a moment before speaking, ignoring the odd pain in his heart. "But I will do whatever it takes to better our own justice system and our support system, as a prince and-"

He paused once he heard Brett chuckle quietly.

"What is it?" Eddy asked.

"You sound so formal." Brett smiled as tears continued to run down his face. "Don't worry about words for once. I hear the emotion behind your words. Don't suppress it because of noble jargon."

Eddy blinked. "But I don't know what you mean."

"Give it a try. Break away from your formalities. Stop talking about the kingdom and improving it and start talking about yourself for once."

Eddy stared at Brett's wet face. How was he supposed to put anything he was feeling into words? He first took a breath and started to analyze the emotions he was feeling in the first place. The guilt that continued to gnaw away at his entire body. The sadness that overwhelmed his head when he thought about losing one's family. The pounding heart that refused to keep still as he stared at Brett, who had never looked more like his equal than before.

His head hurt. Eddy closed his eyes, listening to Brett's words. The words that came from someone who had the mind of a noble and the mannerisms of a commoner, which Eddy began to realize was truly the best of both worlds. He felt free, watching Brett smile even after he spoke about something that was sensitive to him, even after he had spilled everything about his own thoughts and emotions to Eddy. Eddy wondered if he could get rid of some of the weight if he did the same.

He wanted to give it a try.

"I used you for my own selfish needs.”

Brett blinked. "Sorry?"

"I-I apologize. I didn't mean to do that- well, I did. I did mean to do it initially, but now I realize how selfish it was to think that I could pry into your personal life by just visiting your homeland. You are right. That we are princes and kings and princesses." Eddy took a quiet breath, unaware that he was whispering. "We hold power and we think we can do anything with it. We think we're better than everyone else, and that commoners can just be played with."

He glanced up at Brett, whose eyes were widened. He continued to speak.

"It's not true. I've never met someone else like you. Nobody has ever sat through Sibelius with me before, eager to listen to my music. I've never seen anyone take command of a group of servants so easily despite being new. I've never seen anyone work so hard as you, driven by something that I don't even understand." Eddy swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth. "If I were you, I would have never bothered to visit the kingdom, much less work for it."

"It was an easy way to make money." Brett frowned.

"I'm sure you could have been a wonderful musician. Wouldn't you like to do that instead? Run away from the kingdom and start playing music?"

He shook his head. "My aunt. She didn't like listening to me practicing, so she took my violin and..."

"Oh. I apologize."

"You don't need to apologize for something you had nothing to do with. You shouldn't have even apologized for what your father did. Honestly, I shouldn't have been bitter about it to you in the first place. It's not a good thing to do."

"You're a good person. Did you know that?"

Brett looked up at Eddy. The sun was beginning to set behind the prince. He gulped at the sight of the rays of sun silhouetting him, to the point where Brett could only see an outline of Eddy's sharp features. Brett sighed, shaking his head. "I still have my flaws."

"You're a better person than you think you are," Eddy clarified. "There's something special about you. You were born with the gift of spreading joy and wisdom to the world, and you're doing it well. I-I appreciate everything you've done so far, even if it doesn't seem like much yet. But it matters more than one would think to me."

Brett let out a long sigh and stared back into the ocean. The water seemed like it was getting darker, but in the waves, he could almost see his father's face looking back at him. "Thank you. And I accept your apology. Just try not to abuse your power next time for some petty information. Or for anything, really."

"I won't. That is my promise to you."

Brett smiled as he looked back up at Eddy. Tear drops still lingered on his eyelashes, but Eddy felt his heart pound harder at the sight of the genuine grin. "Good. Let's go back to the kingdom, then."

Brett walked over to his horse first, taking an apple out of his small bag. He raised it to his horse's mouth before pulling it away and waving it in front of Eddy's horse. Eddy watched with careful eyes as he played around with both horses, his smile wide. He held his breath as Brett laughed out loud and as the horses jumped for the apple that Brett refused to give them just yet.

_ I hear the emotion behind your words. _

What emotion was this? Watching Brett have fun with a tear-stained face sent a sensation crawling through Eddy's body. It was something that felt entirely new to the prince. The ocean breeze scuttled by, sending chills down his spine. But when the chill lingered despite the breeze being long gone, Eddy knew that he was feeling something stronger than joy. Stronger than sadness. Stronger than anything he knew.

_ Start talking about yourself for once. _

Who was he? He was Edward Chen of Mirean, the heir to the throne, the crown prince. Eddy frowned slightly. But that was a basic answer. Who was he really? What did he like, dislike, love, hate? He held his breath as he stared at Brett, finally feeding the exhausted horses an apple each as he pet their manes. His eyes were alight, glowing from the orange sunset, illuminated further with the reflection from his rimmed glasses. Tears mixed with sweat rolled down his face and dripped down his chin, one slow droplet at a time.

Eddy gulped once he caught himself smiling unconsciously. There was no way.

This was love.

* * *

Eddy's next performance of Sibelius felt different.

He had an orchestra this time. The nobles and royal family of Rochetis were here as well, to watch and judge him for every note he played. He held his head high as he walked on the stage and bowed, giving a small smile to the conductor before he started.

_ "Sibelius was my father's favorite concerto," Brett remarked. "He used to play it all the time for me. You caught me by surprise when you played the entire thing. It was different, yes, but there was something alluring about how you played." _

For once, he let himself feel the music. He let the music run through his bloodstream and poured his entire heart and soul out even during the most difficult parts of the concerto. He was careful to still be technical about some aspects, occasionally pulling his emotions back and allowing his noble self to take control. Eddy swayed to the music, playing note after note with terrifying accuracy. He kept his eyes shut tight the entire time, in fear of looking up and seeing Brett with tears in his eyes once more.

_ "You were so perfect. Every note was hit with accuracy, every double stop sounded perfectly in tune. In fact, it was so perfect that it was almost too perfect." Brett shrugged. "It sounded like it wasn't played by a human anymore. I don't know if that's a good thing or not." _

He finally finished, lifting his bow in the air. Eddy could hear how still the entire room was as the last moments of the concerto lingered in the room. He set his bow down once the note had finally dissipated, and opened his eyes to see shock on everyone's faces.

What followed was thundering applause.

He looked around for Brett, who stood in the far corner of the room. Eddy couldn't see him too clearly, but it wasn't hard to see his wide grin and Eddy's handkerchief wiping his face. Eddy felt tears well in his own eyes too. He had done it.

_ "My father used to play with emotions. He wasn't technically perfect or anything; he was just himself." Brett smiled gently as he looked up at Eddy and the night sky. "I don't want to ask you for too much. But if you could just find a balance between technical perfection and emotion, then... then I think you would be legendary." _

Eddy bowed as the entire banquet hall continued to clap. He let the tears fall down his face and onto the carpeted rug. His inspiration for playing this concerto so beautifully was standing in the back corner, unable to join him on stage.

He thought the distance between the two of them was bad enough. Yet, he knew things would grow worse, especially if Eddy felt like confessing anytime soon, as a lover. For two men in love with each other was forbidden, much less a prince in love with a commoner man. He wasn't sure how his family would respond. What about the princess of the Rochetis family, clearly smitten by Eddy? What about the public in general?

He swallowed the lump in his throat and bowed again. The crowd continued cheering. He would figure it out later. It would take some time, but he would do it no matter how long it took.

He would do anything for this man.

* * *

Eddy sat on the balcony, legs crossed. He looked up at the night sky, watching the stars twinkle gently against the black background. He was still in his formal wear from the banquet, having not bothered to change out of them yet. The party was still going on downstairs, but he wanted a break to plan and think for himself.

He rested his head on his hand. What to do? He wasn't so sure anymore. All he knew was that he wanted to get his feelings out there, but he didn't even know if Brett was... like him. What if he was different? What if Brett didn't like him back in the first place?

He sighed. Staring up at the stars, he hoped for the best. He buried his face in his hands, shaking quietly at the fear and uncertainty. After following Brett's advice to forget about nobility occasionally and to embrace his emotions, he wasn't sure what was happening. Was it possible to feel too many things at once?

"Is everything alright?"

Eddy looked up to see Brett's concerned face. He blinked a few times and cleared his throat. "I'm alright. I wished to take a breather from the banquet."

"Ah. Your parents are looking for you. They want you to meet Princess Rachel and Princess Anna."

He returned his gaze to the night stars and shook his head. "I don't want to go."

"Oh." Brett furrowed his brows and took a seat right next to Eddy. "Has everything been truly alright lately? You've seemed more distracted than ever once we came back from Libertin."

Eddy took a closer look at Brett. He was sitting so close to him now; he could feel every one of Brett's breaths. His eyes took in everything in front of him, from the black-rimmed glasses to the dark brown eyes that held layers of complexity behind them. Eddy was breathless. The stars paled in comparison to Brett himself: they seemed dimmer than before, perhaps to let Brett shine further.

He leaned in. "May the gods forgive me," he breathed.

His hands reached for the back of Brett's head. In a swift motion, motivated by something he didn't understand, he pulled Brett in for a long kiss. Both of them sat there, with Brett's back leaning against the balcony, for a few moments, relishing each other's company. Eddy was pressed up against Brett, listening to both of their hearts pounding loudly in the silent night.

Eventually, Eddy pulled away and retreated to his own corner. He could taste the sweetness on his lips. His eyes were troubled as he looked up at the sky. He couldn't bear to meet Brett's eyes right now, in fear of what they may hold.

"I love you," he choked. His own eyes were tearing up as he started to ramble. "I apologize if this is too much, or if it's against everything you've learned about. It's indecent to be like this, to fall in love with another man, much less, and yet here I am. A prince, breaking all tradition just because-"

He was silenced by Brett's lips on his. He stopped breathing and his heart pounded as he melted into Brett's embrace. Unable to control his own emotions, he started tearing up more and more until tears dribbled down his face and onto his shirt.

Brett finally pulled away. With his thumbs, he brushed the tears onto the stone balcony. A small smile danced on his lips. "You're doing nothing wrong. Stop worrying so much."

Eddy let out a sob, before covering his mouth with his sleeve. Were all his worries for nothing? He was shaking as Brett pulled him into another hug, grasping Eddy's dress shirt. He felt Brett's head and glasses rest on his shoulder. Eddy closed his eyes, wishing to the stars that this was reality and not a dream.

"I love you too," Brett mumbled into his shoulder. "You don't have to worry anymore, Eddy."

Eddy opened his eyes and saw the stars, still twinkling in front of him. He wrapped his arms tighter around Brett and smiled. He couldn't hide his happiness anymore. This was anything but a dream.

This was reality, and Eddy couldn't have been more grateful.


	2. Stalingrad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ warnings: strong derogatory language + more. all other warnings are at the end, as they may contain spoilers. ]
> 
> you can definitely end the story at leningrad if you'd like. if you like endings with warm fluffy kisses and happiness, then i suggest you stop here and leave the ending at leningrad. this is, once more, a crosspost from wattpad and is the chapter directly after leningrad.
> 
> thank you, and i hope you enjoy! <3

He didn't expect anyone to find out.

Eddy loved intense planning. He was careful about when he and Brett would escape on their adventures, what they would wear, and what he would say to the other members of the court. He had a notebook of dates and stories that him and Brett both knew by heart, to prevent anyone from finding out about their forbidden romance.

But at night, Eddy always waited for his door to quietly creak open. He always turned towards the door, breaking out into a smile as Brett's brown eyes peered in. For once, he knew what he was feeling. It was as clear as day.

Joy.

He felt joy when he pulled Brett into his arms, smothering him in affection and kisses; when he heard "I love you"s in Brett's low, breathless voice; when they headed out onto the balcony to watch the stars twinkle. It was the one time when he felt he could be himself, not needing to live a life of lies about his own sexuality and personality.

Tonight, they were stargazing once more.

They had sat on the balcony together, in the exact same spot where they had their first kiss. Eddy was relaxed. His fingers ran through Brett's soft hair as he watched Brett's eyes close and his breaths grow deeper. He seemed peaceful while asleep, with a small smile lingering on his face as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

Eddy smiled and looked back up at the stars. Time seemed to stand still every time he was with Brett. He could almost fall asleep himself if not for the fear of being discovered the next morning. He leaned his head back against the stone bricks of the castle, wishing to the stars that this moment would last forever, that time would truly freeze and the world would be theirs for all eternity.

He closed his eyes, twirling a strand of Brett's hair around his fingers. The silence was calming, lovely to listen to after a long day at the castle. There weren't many moments like this except at night, when him and Brett would meet up. He was perfectly willing to lose sleep for this - it wasn't as if he slept much in the first place.

He heard a quiet cough. "Milord?"

Eddy nearly jumped up. His heart froze as he turned back towards the entrance, his eyes meeting those of his advisor. He couldn't clearly see the facial expressions of him, but Eddy was nearly certain that it was one of confusion or disgust. He swallowed, looking down at the still-asleep Brett, and began to lie.

He put a finger up to his lips. His finger was shaking. "Be quiet, Dylan. He's fallen asleep."

"Why is he asleep here, instead of in his own room?" Dylan took a few steps closer.

"I wanted to speak to him about plans for tomorrow. Unfortunately, he had grown tired by the end of my rant." He sighed, shrugging. He hoped Dylan couldn't hear the shaking in his voice. "I'm quite afraid to wake him. I figured since he had been working hard lately, I would leave him be for now."

"I-I see." Dylan nodded. "That makes sense."

Brett began to shift as Dylan walked closer. Eddy's hand wrapped around his forehead, trying to keep it as still as possible. His eyes were focused on the stack of papers in Dylan's arms.  _ Brett, please. _

Dylan, luckily, didn't notice anything yet. "When your servant wakes up and leaves, perhaps you can take some time to look at these reports. Ninora has been in the middle of a drought lately, and wishes to receive assistance from the castle. This is a rather urgent matter, and your father would appreciate it if you figured out a solution as soon as possible."

"Of course. Thank you, Dylan."

"It is my pleasure."

Dylan left the papers by Eddy's bed and turned away, sparing a final glance at the duo. Eddy's hands were freezing as he returned his attention to the stars, pretending not to worry or care about Dylan. A rock settled in his stomach as he heard a quiet click behind him. This was close, too close for Eddy. He unconsciously began to apply pressure on Brett's head, unaware that he was panicking.

Brett's eyes fluttered open. He let out a loud yawn and rubbed his head. "Huh?"

Eddy sucked in a sharp breath as the door closed and Brett sat up, pushing Eddy's hand off. He glanced back at the doors, relieved that they were shut and that nobody seemed to be there.

Eddy breathed out slowly. "Did I wake you up? I apologize if I did."

"Probably." Brett chuckled quietly, oblivious to the entire situation that had just happened. "Why?"

"Dylan came in. He almost caught us."

Brett blinked. "Did he?"

"Yes." Eddy took note of Brett's raised eyebrows and smiled. It didn't feel genuine to smile at this moment, but he thought it would comfort Brett. "It is no worry though. Your favorite prince managed to lie his way out of it."

"What'd you say?"

"I told him you fell asleep while talking about plans for tomorrow. Today was a busy day, luckily, so he believed it."

Brett shrugged, leaning his head back on Eddy's lap. "Ah. We were lucky then."

"We were."

"That's good." Brett sighed, shutting his eyes once more. "That's... good."

Eddy watched as Brett fell asleep, his glasses skewed on his face. He shook his head, laughing to himself, before looking over his shoulder again. The uneasy feeling in his stomach continued to linger, but he brushed it off as being nothing more than leftover fear from before. He closed his eyes and gave Brett a gentle kiss on the forehead, still combing his fingers through his hair. He could almost fall asleep listening to Brett's breathing, despite the adrenaline and fear that coursed through his entire body.

He sighed, shifting in his seat without waking Brett up. Was it too much to ask for, safety and happiness with the man he loved without facing judgement from the people?

Apparently so. He didn't understand why.

He looked up at the stars once more. His mind was getting lost, drifting away from this world and into an alternate reality where him and Brett could be happy. Free. A small smile crawled onto his face. Waking up with Brett at his side, the sheets warm unlike every morning. Being able to formally introduce Brett as his husband, not just his servant. Dancing in the ballroom with Brett as his partner, as they swayed side to side with the waltz.

_ Creak _ .

Eddy's head snapped to face the door. His blood ran cold when he saw a figure run out and shut the white door behind him. His mouth was dry, unable to be quenched by anything as he looked down at Brett. He felt as if something was tightening around his chest, forcing him to take shallow breaths.

Stupid. He was stupid for not double checking the room after Dylan supposedly left, for he could have been hiding behind the bed or the couch, looking on at what they were doing. His hands shook as they continued to brush Brett's hair; Brett was still peacefully asleep, his mouth slightly apart.

Eddy closed his eyes. How many people would know about this? Who would Dylan tell? What would the court say when they found out that their future king liked men? More importantly, what would they do?

He swallowed. In his head was chaos as he attempted to plan out his next move. They had to be even more careful. Eddy's bedroom and the balcony were no longer safe places for them to love; the only places that Eddy believed to be safe were now dangerous for both of them. But where else could they go? He shook his head as he thought more and more about it - always leaving to different cities would raise suspicion, and the castle was always busy no matter the time of day.

Fear gripped his heart. He took a long breath. Eddy took comfort in his fingers running through Brett's pillowy hair, and the warmth of his head on his leg. He mumbled quietly to himself, promising that everything would be alright because Brett was here.

He would, always, do anything for this man.

* * *

Eddy heard a knock on the door, followed by it creaking open. He wrapped the blanket tighter around him, still shivering despite the warm air from the fireplace. It was winter, and winter meant disease spread through the entire kingdom, occasionally ravaging entire cities. The capital was hit especially hard this year, with many residents of the castle forced to be bedridden for days, Eddy included.

He felt as if his head was burning. It throbbed in pain every time he shifted in the bed. The world around him spun. He found it hard to catch his breath and was unable to breathe through his stuffed nose. Never before had he felt like this, his mouth dry from being unable to keep down anything he had eaten today. Eddy groaned, mustering the energy to roll over to face the door.

In the doorway was Brett, wearing his uniform as always. He looked hesitant to step in, trying to avoid making any eye contact. Eddy felt a lump in his throat when he took a closer notice at Brett's slumped shoulders and the crown, the golden crown, that rested in his hand. He was ready to spit up stomach acid and bile. Tears began to gather in his eyes, but he could still see the gleam of green and blue from the gemstones on the crown.

"My father?" Eddy croaked.

Brett shook his head.

* * *

His first main event as the new king of Mirean was at his father's funeral. He remembered standing there, near the coffin, his hands clasping each other behind his back. He remembered shaking that day, unable to stop the tears from spilling over as they burned his father's body and buried the ashes. He had just recovered from the disease; a part of him was curious as to why it didn't take him too. What made him different from his father?

He also remembered Brett, standing shoulder to shoulder next to him. He remembered Brett's hand reaching for Eddy's, taking Eddy’s hand in his. He remembered Brett silently handing him Eddy’s handkerchief from however long ago, and Eddy taking it to wipe his wet face.

It had been nearly a month since then. 

Compared to the funeral, his coronation wasn't so different. He stood at the end of the banquet hall, Brett once more by his side. Their hands were intertwined as they waited for the nobles to walk in, one pair at a time, just like they did during the funeral. Behind him was a crown instead of his father's lifeless, cold body. Eddy narrowed his eyes as he stared at the nobles. They all looked elegant, wearing their best clothing and putting on their brightest smiles in front of Eddy.

The hallways had grown busy ever since Dylan found him and Brett in the room. Eddy always pretended to never hear what the other nobles were saying, to never hear the suspicions that were being raised of their king. The words that came out of their mouth made Eddy flinch every once in a while, but they were both careful to neither confirm nor deny their suspicions.

He stared out into space. Sometimes, he could still hear the nobles muttering under their breath every time he walked down the hall. He took a shaky breath, garnering attention from Brett, who began to rub his thumb in circles around Eddy’s knuckle.

His parents were both dead and gone, now truly unable to protect him from a majority of the court insults. His breaths shook as he took a closer look at Brett's still, calm face. It was so peaceful, with traces of concern lingering behind his eyes. His heart swelled at the sight of him. Eddy wondered how Brett was dealing with the court - if they were insulting their king in front of him, he could only imagine what they would say to a servant. Brett never talked about it, and Eddy felt guilt settle in his stomach for never asking.

His face flushed red. A part of him questioned what he was doing when stepped to the side and revealed him and Brett holding hands, open for everyone to see. His mind was racing with all of the plans that they had in the small notebook: hiding in a nearby city, heading to the market with clothes stolen from other servants, and more travels away from the kingdom that prevented them from being who they were. So many lies to memorize. So much stress.

Eddy's heart pounded as he squeezed Brett's hand. He felt the eyes of the nobles on him and Brett, along with Brett's confused stare. He wasn't even sure what he was doing in the first place, but he knew that all of the ideas didn't matter now. He wiped his mind clean of the lies he needed to memorize, instead letting the bitterness and rush of adrenaline lead him to victory. He could almost feel the heavy golden crown resting on his head.

He was the king now, not his father.

The kingdom was his to rule, and Eddy would  _ make _ them accept him and Brett.

* * *

Eddy noticed that the court was a little colder to him and Brett, who instead of standing outside the room, now sat right next to Eddy in the hall. He saw the odd glances everyone exchanged when they held hands on the table, as well as some of the giggles that the nobles tried to hide. His mind blanked as he kept a mental note of those that made any disrespectful sound in court.

_ The faggot king. _

They didn't have to pretend. Eddy knew who disapproved of their relationship and who wanted to take advantage of it. His throat burned at the realization that nearly everyone was part of one of the two groups, and he had little to no allies in his own kingdom. He held his head high and continued to speak about possible solutions to the drought in Ninora, tightening his grip around Brett's hand.

He remembered when his father was in court and he was asked to participate as a thirteen year-old. He remembered watching the nobles nod and pay careful attention to his father, who would pick the strongest words to win everyone over. He knew what to emphasize and knew how to play the nobles so that they would always support him and his ideas. A part of him frowned when he finished and sat down; he would be glad if he could even be similar to his father.

_ Lord of the fairies. _

Eddy's heart warmed at the sight of Brett speaking, suggesting his own solutions like a true king. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Brett's deep voice, his words eloquent and carefully chosen, just like his own father. He could sense the nobles staring at Brett and searching for any weakness in him. They were vultures - nothing but vultures - and he felt absolutely disgusted at the mere thought of them tearing both him and Brett apart.

A sigh. He opened his eyes as Brett sat down, his speech finally finished. Eddy waited for the comments that typically followed court speeches, only to hear absolute silence.

* * *

Eddy took a sip of his tea. "Of course, Sir Lee. I highly appreciate you notifying me of this issue. I will take it into great consideration."

Lee nodded. "Thank you, milord."

"You are welcome. Is there anything else you would like to alert me of?"

Both of them sat in a small meeting room located in the very corner of the castle. The fireplace was still burning as snow fell outside, dusting the windows in a fine layer of ice. Eddy watched as Lee leaned back against his chair, running a hand through his black hair as he smirked. Lee always had the confident flair about him, something that Eddy both hated and wanted. While Lee was one of the more relaxed nobles, he was a noble nonetheless, forcing Eddy to be on the very edge of his seat.

"You're a very pretty boy," Lee commented.

"Thank you."

Eddy's stomach twisted as Lee began to move forward. He was still, staring into Lee's bold, dark eyes; he was glued to his seat, the crown anchoring him in place; he was holding his breath as Lee slid into the seat right next to Eddy and leaned closer to his face. They were so close that Eddy could smell each and every one of his putrid breaths.

Lee's hands reached for Eddy's head, wrapping around his hair and crown. "Where did your future husband go? You should keep a better eye on him."

Eddy didn't have time to process anything before Lee forced his lips onto Eddy's, his fingers imprinting themselves on the back of Eddy’s head. Eddy’s face flushed red as he shoved Lee backwards into his chair. Bile rose up his throat, but it was unable to overpower the disgusting taste that lingered in his mouth after the kiss. The engagement band around his finger burned into his skin as he glared at Lee, resisting the urge to wipe his saliva-covered mouth.

"What was that for?"

Lee's eyes were maniacal. He stood up, brushing imaginary dust off of his pants. "Consider it a warning. Your dear Brett isn't going to be well for so long if he keeps on heading into the capital on his own like that."

Eddy froze. "What do you mean?"

Lee took a step closer to Eddy. His hands gently grazed his face, sending uncomfortable shivers down Eddy's spine. "The court is more than excited at the thought of... a  _ faggot _ king." He laughed as Eddy flinched at the sound of the word. "You've sat down with some of the other nobles. What did they want from you? Land? Money? Power?"

Eddy closed his eyes. Lee's fingers were trailing up his jaw, before resting on his crown. He could feel his hands tracing the band with the blue and green jewels resting on it and shivered at the thought of someone whose hands were so unclean touching his family heirloom.

"No heirs. No children. Nobody to hand your kingdom to." Lee's voice was almost melodic. "Mirean will belong to us. All we have to do is get rid of you and Brett, and the possibilities will be endless."

"Why are you telling me this?" He couldn't breathe.

"I don't know. Do you trust me? Do you believe everything I'm telling you right now?"

Eddy swallowed. He didn't reply.

"If you do, then take very good care of him at your wedding." Lee let go of the crown and opened the door with a loud creak. "If you don't, then good luck. May the gods be with you."

The door shut, and Eddy was left alone in the room. His fingers immediately jumped up to his lips, tracing the droplets of Lee's saliva that were still there. Adrenaline was still running through his system, unable to stop his hands from shaking and eyes from tearing up.

Eddy slammed his head against the table, letting the emptiness swallow him. His mind jumped to Brett, alone and wandering around the markets in the street. He stood up, ignoring his half-empty cup of tea, and ran out of the room.

* * *

_ "Are you going to let them win?" _

_ Eddy opened his eyes. He was lying down on the ground, hard against his back. He blinked a few times before sitting up, trying to analyze his surroundings. The skies were blue and the ground was stone, but there was nothing else that made this place recognizable. _

_ His eyes lingered on something gleaming gold in the distance. Immediately, he felt drawn to the glimmer, unable to distance himself from it. Eddy stood up, taking small steps towards the crown, ignoring the burning cobblestone under his bare feet that blistered his skin. He looked as if he was in a trance, his shoulders slouched and his eyes glassy as he walked, stumbling across miles to reach the single gleam. _

_ Except, it never seemed like it was getting closer. To Eddy's dismay, the gleam was growing smaller for every step he took. He gritted his teeth and began to walk faster and faster until he was sprinting to the gold. His hair was flying behind him and his feet were beginning to cut and bleed. He ignored the pain; all he wanted was that gleam. His heart itched for it, his head throbbed because of all the running, yet he still needed to try harder. _

_ He wasn't trying hard enough. Yes, that was the only reason why he couldn't reach the gleam. He began to sprint, letting out a yell as he did so. He needed it. He didn't know what was at the end, but he needed to hold it in his hands. He needed to try harder. _

_ Another raw scream escaped from Eddy's mouth as he pushed himself even more. His sprints grew faster. His feet bled more, leaving behind a trail of scarlet behind him. The sun was hitting his back, burning the back of his neck until the skin was beginning to peel off. Eddy's mouth was dry. The world was spinning around him. He continued to push himself until the gold was finally in his reach. _

_ Eddy's hands wrapped around the golden crown, the same one that his father used to wear every single day of his life, the same one that he now wore every day. He was bleeding, dehydrated, and exhausted, but the crown was finally his. Relief settled in his stomach and he started to sob, the physical exhaustion finally hitting him. He hugged the crown tighter around him, gripping it so tightly that his fingers started to bleed as well. _

_ The voice was right behind him. "You've worked so hard. You've done it, Eddy." _

_ Eddy sucked in a breath, closing his eyes. The voice was so familiar. "I did it for you. It's for you. I'd do anything for you." _

_ "Anything for who, Eddy?" _

Eddy jolted awake in his bed.

* * *

"A toast to our lovely couple!"

Everyone raised their glasses, Brett and Eddy included. Eddy stood up tall, a smile on his face despite the dirty glares and confused looks some of the nobles gave him. He felt their eyes boring into his soul, seeing him as nothing more than a target to eliminate. Either way, he widened the smile on his face and pretended as if everything was alright. Today was their wedding; he didn't want to play too many games with the nobles today.

Once the nobles started to drink out of their cups, Eddy reached over and knocked Brett's glass out of his hand. The wine spilled all over the white tablecloth and the glass shattered once it hit the marble floor. The musicians stopped playing and the nobles all fell into silence at the sound that rang throughout the entire banquet hall.

"Sorry," Eddy frowned, "it was an accident."

Brett blinked a couple of times, opening his mouth. "I-It's alright."

Eddy handed him his own glass of wine, keeping an eye on Deutscher and her astonished face. His glare was ice cold. "You can take my glass if you want."

Brett took it gingerly, confusion lining his face.

Both of them sat down at the head table as the servants covered the red wine stain with a white cloth. Eddy kept his head high as he clasped Brett's hand in his, pretending that everything was alright. The nobles wouldn't outsmart him. They couldn't. He saw everything, from Deutscher heading to the apothecary and slipping something into Brett's glass. He closed his eyes, resting his head on Brett's shoulder.

"I love you," he mumbled.

Brett chuckled quietly, the events from before already out of his head. "I love you too. Wake up now. The musicians are performing."

"What did you ask them to perform?"

"What else? It was difficult arranging Sibelius for such a small group of musicians, but I figured it out." Brett grinned. "It was a fun challenge."

Sure enough, Eddy began to hear the opening eighth notes for Sibelius. He relaxed all of his muscles, refusing to open his eyes. Something about this felt perfect. He was sitting right next to Brett, listening to the very concerto that strengthened their bond. His breaths were steady as he listened to the melody, remembering when he played it in front of the court and the other royal family. His mind wandered to when he heard Brett play it on the violin that Eddy had recently bought for him, moving Eddy to tears.

He felt Brett's hand wipe his face. "You're crying."

"I know I am." Eddy opened his eyes and took a closer look at Brett. Brett himself had tears running down his cheeks and a wide grin on his face. He had never looked happier than now, holding Eddy's hand and listening to Sibelius playing in the background. Eddy had never felt happier than now, looking into Brett's soft eyes.

He wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted nothing more than to sit here without having to worry about the threat of nobles wanting power and to just hold Brett in his arms. Sibelius would always be playing in the background, taking their breath away with its sweeping melodies as they sat and talked for however long they wanted. Eddy smiled gently at the thought as he wiped a tear from Brett's eye.

That was when he noticed movement behind Brett. It was quick and sharp, something that Eddy would have missed if he wasn't constantly on edge. His eyes narrowed.

"Eddy? What's wrong?"

Eddy didn't reply. Sibelius was getting louder and the rustles were getting hard to listen out for. He bit his cheek. This entire thing was planned carefully, from Deutscher's poison to the true assassination attempt. He watched as the nobles danced, taking steps to create a pathway in the middle of the room. His hands were frozen as he listened even closer. His heartbeat was so loud that it nearly overpowered the sounds, but he finally heard something.

Footsteps, in rapid succession.

Without thinking, he pulled Brett out of his seat and down to the ground. Eddy heard the sound of something flying through the air clearer than any of the notes in the concerto, and watched a wince grow on Brett's face. He looked up and saw a black dagger fly through the air, hitting the wall behind them with a thud. Eddy let out a sigh of relief, noting how the entire room had fallen into silence, how they were pretending to be innocent since their king and his husband were still alive and well. Droplets of sweat trailed down his hair and back from his racing heartbeat.

"Eddy?"

Eddy glanced over at Brett, widening his eyes at the sight of the second dagger. His heart froze. It was buried deep in Brett's shoulder, forcing him to hold it in pain. Blood dribbled down his white shirt, creating a pool of crimson on the white marble. Despite this, he still managed a smile through his wince.

"I think I'm injured."

* * *

Eddy wasn't allowed to stay at the healer's tonight. No matter how much he had begged, the healer had simply told him that it was best for Brett to stay here and rest on his own, and that she would take care of him all night if he was worried. He eventually gave up once she told him that he looked terrible himself and needed some rest as soon as possible, officially kicking him out of her office.

He found himself walking back to the banquet hall. The servants were trying to avoid cleaning the blood stain and the dagger in the wall, which was fine by Eddy. The hall now devoid of anyone, he wandered to the back, where him and Brett were sitting just hours ago. His tie felt tight around his neck and he loosened it, but it didn't help him with the lump in his throat.

Eddy's eye lingered on the dagger. He felt something burn in his heart at the sight of the sleek handle and the shiny blade. He wrapped his hand around the handle and ripped the knife from the wall. Bits and pieces of plaster fell to the ground, covering Eddy's black shoes in a fine layer of white dust.

Lee was right. The court was nothing more than a game of power. The nobles only wanted land and control over the kingdom.  _ His _ kingdom. Who held control in the court right now? 

Eddy clenched his jaw. It was certainly not him.

He slammed the knife into the wall, leaving another deep hole. He was breathless, his bangs covering his eyes. The nobles were a problem. There was no way that he would live in constant fear of assassinations with Brett for his entire life. It was fine that they wanted to play the game - they tried to bribe his father with gold and promises, only to get nothing in the end - but what was not settling with Eddy was the thought of nobles trying to kill both of them, all because they would never have a child.

It wasn't as if killing them needed much justification either. They were gay. They were breaking tradition, and up until recently, breaking a law of the kingdom that was punishable by execution. And if Brett died first, before Eddy did-

A bitter taste rose up in his mouth as he ripped the knife out of the wall again with a loud yell.

His eyes rested on the pool of blood that was beginning to dry at the edges. His nobles were out of control. His court was trying to kill its king and his love. His pawns needed to be disciplined. The crown on his head grew heavier by the second, but for once, he didn't mind.

He swallowed hard. He knew Brett wouldn't approve of his thoughts and his meticulous planning. Brett, if he knew about Eddy's planned actions, would fall apart. He wasn't known for being an advocate of violence or murder, which meant Eddy had to plan in secret. Everything, from the planning to the execution, had to be carefully planned, for Brett couldn't know about any of it.

He stared at the knife in his hand. He promised he would do anything for Brett.

Even if it meant killing others.

* * *

Eddy remembered his first murder.

He remembered feeling Dylan's warm blood against his hand, dribbling down his arm and staining his sleeve. In his other hand was the black dagger, cutting through his neck like it was nothing but butter. Each individual drop of blood dripped to the ground, creating a growing pool of crimson on the carpeted floor.

He remembered his guts twisting around, reminding him of the morals his parents established for him. He felt like throwing up after the murder and did, in fact, once he reached his own shared room with Brett. He remembered washing his hands in the water near the servants' rooms and choking back a scream at the sight of dried blood crackling on his arm. He shook red water off of his hands, ignoring how they felt cold and numb.

He remembered throwing his shirt off and heading to a room situated by the very back of the castle, where him and Lee spoke. On the desk was another clean white shirt for him to wear, as planned. He held the shirt at arm's length and tossed it into the still-burning fire, watching as the bloom of red flickered into nothing but ash. Guilt and disgust continued to churn in his stomach. He couldn't get the image of Dylan's warm, yet lifeless, body out of his head. He remembered slamming his head against the table, trying to use pain to get the memory out of his head.

His head pounded with the thought of his eyes, staring back at Eddy. 

Wide. Glassy. Empty.

He remembered laying there on the table for years, it seemed, his lips slightly apart as he tried to catch his breath. His mind wandered over to Brett, who was now beginning to recover from his shoulder wound. He thought of his smile, the glances they would sneak in the middle of a serious court meeting, and the cold winter nights, when Brett would slide into bed with Eddy and cuddle.

Out of nowhere, he felt the weight of the crown pushing down on his head, forcing all of the air out of him. The new force shoved all thoughts of Brett from Eddy's head, leaving him shaking at the wooden table. His head continued to throb. Eddy let out a gut-wrenching scream, acid and bile burning his entire body. He remembered wrapping his hands around his hair. He remembered pulling and pulling until the pain from his scalp overwhelmed the weight from the crown.

All the way in the back of his head, he could hear a quiet whisper.

_ "How far would you go for me?" _

Eddy didn't know.

* * *

"Eddy, is everything alright?"

"Oh, huh?" Eddy blinked a few times, looking over at Brett's concerned face. "Everything is fine. I was just thinking about a few things."

He wasn't lying. His head was swirling with thoughts of Rowbotham and his next attack on the nobles. He blinked, managing a small smile on his face, and rested his head on Brett's shoulder. Last night, he had managed to successfully blackmail Rowbotham using information he gathered. Eddy no longer had to do all of the dirty work by himself, instead using her to kill for him instead. He only needed to relish in the fear the murders stirred in the court and nothing more.

Brett wrapped his arm around Eddy. "Are you thinking about the court murders?"

Eddy froze. Was Brett reading his mind? Did he find out, by some chance? His entire body tensed under Brett's touch. His pulse skyrocketed as he sat on the chair, questions racing through his mind. He tried to stay as still as possible when he replied, but his voice betrayed the worry underneath. "No. I'm fine."

"You are thinking about them."

Eddy swallowed. "It isn't important."

He was surprised to find Brett rubbing circles into his shoulder. Eddy paused, realizing that his muscles were still tense and that he couldn't relax any of them. His mind was still racing as Brett tried to comfort Eddy down.

"I know you're worried. Nobody knows who is behind these murders." Brett sighed, closing his eyes. "I don't think you should worry too much about it. You're losing members of your court, but who cares? I don't think they were particularly loyal to you in the first place, so you aren't losing much. Besides, if anyone tries to touch you, I'll be sure to fight them back."

"You? Fight them?"

"Yes, me." Brett grinned. A childlike luster lingered in his eyes. "We'll figure out who's threatening all of us. Arrest them, put them in the dungeon somewhere, and then let them watch us live in peace and happiness. Nobody's going to hurt us, Eddy. I promise."

Eddy was silent.

* * *

The hallways were silent now.

Eddy walked by himself to the room, a white shirt in his hands. In his head was a new target, someone who had made a comment on his and Brett's relationship, arguing that Brett was only staying there because he was afraid of Eddy. That Eddy was secretly a tyrant who wanted complete control over everything he wanted. Eddy glanced out the glass windows, which were, once more, covered in snow and frost.

If he focused hard enough, he could almost feel the handle of the dagger resting in his palm and the weight of the crown on his head. An odd joy swelled in his heart, leaving him breathless. He was finally restoring the kingdom's peace. The court was tame, with little to no disapproving glances anymore, for everyone was continuously glancing around for the mysterious killer. Eddy took pride in watching everyone shake as he conveyed his thoughts and ideas, and grinned at how everyone blamed each other for the murders using the most obscure of reasons, from having unkempt hair to having soiled shoes.

His court was falling apart, and Eddy had never been happier.

* * *

"Rowbotham told me everything."

Brett's voice was breathless, hovering in the air. Eddy didn't even register the words that he said for the first few seconds, instead focusing on Brett's red, watery eyes and the hurt that hid behind his glasses. He reached out for Brett, shutting the heavy door behind him, only for Brett to pull away sharply. Eddy couldn't explain anything he was feeling.

"Why?" Brett continued to whisper. "Why would you do this?"

Eddy didn't reply. He had decided to stand still and stare at the ground. He couldn't look anywhere near Brett, in fear of what he would see. Brett's voice was the epitome of disappointment. It was dripping with shame and betrayal; Eddy knew that Brett wouldn't approve of his actions, but he never expected him to find out. There was no plan to get him out of a situation like this. It was the end.

"Y-You promised me. You wouldn't be anything like your father and kill people who didn't deserve to be killed. What did the court do to you? What happened to not abusing your power for something unimportant?"

Eddy shook his head. "It wasn't unimportant."

"Then what was it?" Brett's voice was shaking, but Eddy couldn't tell if it was from fear or anger. "Look me in the eye and tell me, Eddy. What was driving you to do all of this?"

He was frozen. He couldn't move, and most certainly couldn't look into Brett's eyes. Even imagining it was difficult for him to do so.

"Was it me? Did I drive you to do all of this? Did you truly have to slaughter everyone for the sake of me and those few assassination attempts? Was that necessary in the first place? Because it wasn't. Nothing you did was important, nor did it help anyone but yourself. Now, you have little to no nobles left in the castle, and the social structure is falling into shambles.

"Did you truly do everything for me, like you want to tell yourself?" Brett became even quieter. "Or was it something else?"

Eddy swallowed. He looked down at his shoes, ignoring the tears that were beginning to fall. The imaginary crown was back on his head, pushing his head down further and further until he couldn't move his neck anymore. The quiet whisper in the back of his mind, the same one that taunted him in his dreams and nightmares, returned, although Eddy couldn't pay attention to what it was saying right this moment.

"For power? For control? Is that all you wanted? You've always been one for control and planning. But what happened to your morality? Have you just fallen out of love with me?"

He opened his mouth, struggling to breathe. "I-I could never."

"Then why did you do this behind my back?"

Silence.

* * *

Eddy stared out of his own window. He watched as a tiny figure exited the building with nothing more than a violin case and a backpack. The lump in his throat grew until Eddy refused to hold his emotions back anymore. Tears welled in his eyes in a matter of seconds, and he lost control of his breaths and sobs. His back shook as he heaved breath after breath, his head slamming against the glass panes of the window.

He was dumb. Careless. He should have planned better and kept everything to himself, instead of using other nobles for his own dirty deeds. His hands grasped the sleeves of his bloody shirt, the blood still fresh and wet from just a few minutes ago, when he went into Rowbotham's room with the black dagger in hand.

Eddy traced blood down his face, ignoring the mess he was making all over the carpet. The imaginary crown was beginning to grow even heavier, which Eddy didn't believe was possible in the first place. He felt the heat radiating from the pressure on his head, strengthening the voice that he had suppressed for these few months.

_ "You gave him up for me. What else would you do?" _

Eddy gasped, each sob spilling out of his mouth. Something began to stir in the very bottom of his stomach as the crown began to take control of Eddy, forcing him to embrace who he truly was. It forced him to realize what he loved the most: for him to have power, and for him to be in charge of every last detail. The raw emotion from Brett leaving and the multitude of questions that were exploding in his head left Eddy doubled over, gasping for air.

Eventually, Eddy raised a hand in the air, silencing all of the voices in his head.

"A-Anything. I'd do anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ warnings: depictions of violence/death. ]
> 
> one more bonus for ao3, coming soon. <3 thank you for reading!


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